Next Big Thing for Salem: An Online Video Game about Puritans? [Update: BETA Signups Have Started!]

[Update 3/23/12: After being put off a few times BETA signups are finally open! Sign up here: http://beta.salemthegame.com/?ref=e01e659221e ]


A small game developing company named Seatribe is developing a game for Paradox Interactive which seems to be full of revolutionary ideas and has a lot of gamers buzzing.

Their new browser-based MMO Salem is to be set in a fantastical and mythical version of the harsh wilderness of colonial New England that the early settlers faced, the biggest difference being that in this case the magic and witchcraft is real and not just the product of ignorant fanatical religious fundamentalism.

The look of the game is right on the line between morbid and cutesy. The developer has stated his stylistic influences specifically include artists such as Herman Melville, H.P. Lovecraft, Tim Burton, and Edgar Allan Poe. This is most apparent in the design of the characters:



Aw, what a cute little zealot.

The one thing I am not a huge fan of, but many people are, is the fact that Salem is going to rely heavily on crafting. In other words, building, hunting, farming, cooking, pottery, blacksmithing, etc. - this is going to be the core of the game. According to developers there will be "no quests", so this gets some people worrying, does that mean that this is going to just be another one of those Farmville type games?

This is where the revolutionary part comes in. First, Salem will offer fully terraformable persistent and changing environments, which means when you change something it stays that way - forever. Secondly, the death system is full PVP (player vs player) and features perma-death - so once you die, you are dead forever. A good chunk of the hard work and wealth you've accumulated is gone for good, too, excepting a small amount passed on to your "heir" which is how you can continue to progress.

As to how they are going to balance out these two aspects of the game, which seem extreme and in opposition to each other is beyond me. No successful game to date has been crafting dependent and had open PVP with perma-death, it just seems too easy to exploit.

As this is an MMO time progresses at a normal pace whether you are playing or not, but day and night are being handled in a unique way that gives homage to the Puritan's actual historic beliefs. You see, the Puritans literally believed that darkness was evil. That which they could not understand or comprehend was therefore evil by default. Much in the same way, the virtual Puritans in Salem will be surrounded in darkness at the beginning of the game, but as they progress and gain more Civilization Points they will begin to be able to see and understand the forests, and the world around them.

So, where does witchcraft work it's way into the game? This is The Witch City of course.

Details seem sketchy so far, but it seems players will be able to choose one of two magical paths, one of which being witchcraft. I am assuming that the use of light or dark magic is what will divide the population into two opposing factions, because I couldn't imagine Puritans and witches working together towards a common goal, even if in just a video game.

Also, by the looks of the pictures the Puritans might be the evil ones. Just look at this little bastard:



Release date is set for Q4, which in non-video game person language means the fourth quarter of this year. Oh yes, and one last important thing. IT'S FREE. [Update 3/23/12: After being put off a few times BETA signups are finally open! Sign up here: http://beta.salemthegame.com/?ref=e01e659221e ]

Clues in Leaked "Lords of Salem" Photos with a Better Synopsis, and a Bit on Celebrity Witches in Salem

 [11/21/11: Most recent article here.]

Rob Zombie's Lords of Salem is taking shape as he slowly leaks more and more information. In the past month we have learned via his film blog (http://rzfilms.blogspot.com) that shooting for the movie is now going to be "after the summer" instead of throughout this spring as was earlier reported. He has also posted some pictures taken by Wayne Toth in his fx studio. If you look reeeally close you can see they might give away a bit more than it first seems. This picture in particular is very interesting to me.



First, in the background you can see a chair covered in spikes that we can deduce is probably one of the torture devices used in the film, also you can see a second spiked iron mask on the counter which could be either a stage in the fx development of the one we've already seen or maybe a second one, which might imply that the masks are a theme we will see throughout the movie. BUT most strange about this picture is the back of the neck on the piece we see the artist working on... Are those some sort of tentacles?? What the holy hell is going on here?





Calamari anyone?

Let us assume that this is a beginning process in creating locks of hair or something until we know for sure what it is.

Also, I am curious to know what is hanging on the walls in the background of this one.


Something significant or just the usual random body parts you'd find in Mr. Toth's studio?

Well luckily Mr. Zombie has released a fleshed-out synopsis and, although it doesn't say anything about Davey Jones emerging from his locker to make an appearance, it does show us how cheesy the plot is going to be:


" Heidi, a blonde rock chick, DJs at a local radio station, and together with the two Hermans (Whitey and Munster) forms part of the "Big H Radio Team".

A mysterious wooden box containing a vinyl record arrives for Heidi, "a gift from the Lords". She assumes it's a rock band on a mission to spread their word. As Heidi and Whitey play the Lords' record, it starts to play backwards, and Heidi experiences a flashback to a past trauma.

Later Whitey plays the Lords' record, dubbing them the Lords of Salem, and to his surprise, the record plays normally and is a massive hit with listeners.

The arrival of another wooden box from the Lords presents the Big H Team with free tickets, posters and records to host a gig in Salem. Soon Heidi and her cohorts find that the gig is far from the rock spectacle they're expecting: the original Lords of Salem are returning, and they're out for BLOOD. " (from IMGlobal)

Sounds pretty typical. I have a feeling that this film is going to rely less on the story and more on disturbing and gory special effects and imagery, which is not a bad thing when you think about it. I mean, without seeing House of 1000 Corpses the synopsis sounds like garbage, and that turned out fantastic.

In more personal news, I thought not working for Spellbound Tours anymore would be very depressing, but really the only thing I miss about the company is the owner, my old boss Mollie, who had become a friend of mine throughout the years, but in reality switching to a new company is working out great for me.

The tour I am doing now, The Salem Witch Walk, is fantastic. I get to help tourists understand what real witchcraft is, and it's not one of those crappy fifteen minute tours through a renovated haunted house like some other sites in town, but an entire 90 minute walk around downtown. I basically have time to get into just about everything Salem/witch related, from the simple stuff like pagan holidays and associations to the hysteria of 1692, to quantum theory's relation to spellworking, commercialization and capitalization of witchcraft in Salem, and the complicated debate about the roll of cursing and hexing within the confines of the balance found in nature and in the context of the craft.

Haha, well the way I explain it makes it sound complicated but it's not.

Some people have voiced concern over my taking a position working for/with such fiery local celebrity witches as Christian Day and Lorelei after always being outspoken about my feelings towards "selling out" and such. I find that the people who say this type of thing are most often the people who actually know the LEAST about witchcraft, tourism, and what it even means to sell out.

With all the hype many people forget that these wily witches are just normal people, including such hugely famous people like Laurie Cabot (who clearly needs a website revamp). Of course working in a tourist town where your religion is a commodity is walking a fine line, but with all the cute and cheesy stuff that they do, for every time they do something that makes some pagans cringe, they also open up hearts and minds to the craft every single day. Like, LOTS of people. Every. Single. Day.

They also value our differences and encourage me to express myself and make the tour my own because they care about the business being successful and know I am great at what I do. They trust that I wont make them look bad even if we do differ in opinions on certain subjects because it's pretty clear I go out of my way to be politically correct - and on the tours it's the same. I give people an objective view devoid of personal opinion peppered with my usual satirical humanism and anti-nihilist quips. If someone has a problem with something, I offer the other side of the argument. People really appreciate when I play devil's advocate on the tours, because it makes it clear that I am not trying to make them think what I think, but help them understand for themselves.

A Salem Witch's Guide to Local Vegetarian and Vegan Food

A divergence from my usual choice of topics, today I will be indulging in the percentage of me that is a huge hippie and reviewing vegan and vegetarian food in Salem. Next entry will be back to the usual stuff! [Updated 2/23/11, 10/2/12]

First things first, Salem is not only a tourist town and a college town, but also a town with a lot of freaky green crunchy granola people, so just about every establishment that serves food has options available for those going cruelty-free. It used to be that if you wanted 100% vegetarian food you had to somehow get all the way to The Organic Garden in Beverly, which is the next town over, but for a tourist this is usually not the easiest option. Luckily now we have Life Alive, which is now Salem's only vegetarian restaurant.

So what are the best places to get cruelty-free food in Salem Witch City?

1. Passage to India - If I had the money I would eat here every day. The menu is just good old standard Indian food, and if you are the average cultured vegetarian you could probably already order without looking at the menu. For anyone who has never been to an Indian food restaurant - the menu will confuse the hell out of you, don't be afraid to ask questions. The people here are super friendly as well.

2. Bankok Paradise and, (the aptly named) The Thai Place - These two places are competitors and a lot of locals choose one over the other. Either way - you have to specifically mention NO FISH SAUCE when you order a tofu curry because the waitstaff often get confused about what is an animal product and what isn't. Really, both places have the standard Thai style dishes, the only true difference is that Bankok Paradise also has music, and ow that they are under new ownership it often gets WAY to rowdy. Stay away from here late at night unless you're a very patient person.

3. Gulu-Gulu/Front St. Coffeehouse - My two favorite cafes in town are a tie, but I will mention what makes each place unique: Front St. is the only place with a juice bar and has the best prices for coffee and espresso drinks. Gulu-Gulu is special because they have the best selection of beer in the city(Front St. has none), and not just any beer, but heady beer. Beer that will satisfy the beer snob in all of us, but if you want Bud Light, you might want to skip this place. The Gulu, as the locals refer to it, is also the only cafe that consistently has live entertainment and music, film nights, and the infamous open mic night, which is the best/worst open mic night in the city.

Milk and Honey is the new green grocer in town, and besides the fact that it's named after two animal byproducts, it's the only place in Salem with a wide variety of vegetarian and vegan groceries. It's a tiny place and the prices are pretty high, but in the long run you might save money on getting your food here.

In closing I have to note that I consistently hit up just about every food place in Salem and I like them all. Some restaurants are better than others for vegan and vegetarian food, but just about every place will at least have veggie burgers. If you are the only veg*n in your group visiting town, don't be afraid to let your omnivore friends choose where you go for nomnoms. Even Boston Hotdog Co. has veggie dogs.

Oh, and for vegan ice cream the only place is still Cafe Kushco. Right in the center of town and very easy to find.

New Uniform Resource Locater!

That's right, the URL will soon be simply www.salemwitchwiles.com !

They said it could take up to two days, until then some of the links and the archive page will be screwy. You can handle that though.

God Hates the Lords of Salem - Rob Zombie Sightings in Salem, MA

[11/21/11: Most recent article here.]

"Lords of Salem is probably the bleakest of all my films."

Although I question the concept of Rob Zombie's upcoming movie Lord of Salem, I am still looking forward to it. It can't possibly disappoint me, nothing he has ever done has. In fact, Zombie always surprises and impresses people with his ability to imbue depth and emotion into movies that, on the outside, just seem like violence and gore.

In a recent interview with Empire Online ("www.EmpireOnline.com) Rob mentions that this is an idea he's had for a while, "Like a lot of my ideas, I had this one a long time ago, but it was never the right time to make it. Eventually it spun off into a song [see video below] but there were still no plans to turn it into a movie until the Paranormal Activity guys approached me and wanted to do something. I didn't have any specific plans, but I mentioned Lords of Salem and they really latched onto it."



He goes on to clear up the plot a bit, "There were twenty people that everyone knows about - obviously all innocent - executed as witches in Salem," explains Rob. "The basic premise of the film is that there were a further four who actually were witches, who were killed secretly, and vowed one day to return to wreak havoc on Salem's descendants. That's when the movie jumps ahead to the present day and things start to go wrong..."

Another interesting rumor is that Zombie is actually going to be using his own music in the film, creating an original score or just writing songs to use. I wonder if he will do a new version of the song that gives the movie it's title?

Yesterday, Zombie told his fans "Heading out for more location scouting on The Lords Of Salem," via Twitter, and today there have been multiple sightings of him around the city, including a stop into Coven, a local cafe. (I always wonder what famous people eat, so I asked around and found out he got a coffee and croissant. lol)

Honestly, I don't know how people scout locations in a town they don't know. I can think of at least a few different amazing places that would be great for filming near that the average person wouldn't just stumble across. Hell, ask some of the townie kids where they go to drink in the woods, those are usually the most isolated and scary places around!

And thank the gods that he scrapped his idea to remake The Blob "without the blob", and that it was only a rumor he would be directing the Motly Crue movie. Those both sounds like horrible ideas. Lords of Salem sounds far more interesting and I, for one, can't wait to hear more about it. When I do, you will be the first to know!

And as far as film, what's next for Zombie? "I'd love to make a Western too, but the trouble is that films are expensive."

[edit: One hour ago he updated his Twitter feed again "Just left Salem. Great day of scouting. Found some amazing locations." ... So exciting!]

Salem "Warlock" Uses Charlie Sheen Meme for Free Publicity

Haha, I am so sorry Christian, but I have to write about you again. lol

Anyone who is watching this Charlie Sheen fiasco can see it's getting out of hand. It was an insta-meme that exploded the interwebz with the expected wins and fails, bad mspaint macros, and application of quotes into non-sequitur pics via the lolBuilder. Personally I am not a big fan of this meme. I like the nerdy ones a bit more.

But now, this meme has hit close to home.

Sheen's use of the word "warlock" resulted in some great jokes, but also an opportunity. As mentioned in a previous blog entry, local witch Christian Day has a habit of using controversy for publicity. How do you cause controversy? Through provocation or causing an argument - otherwise known as trolling. In fact, Christian has already been using the controversy surrounding the use of the word warlock to describe a male practitioner of the witchcraftness as a way to drum up publicity. This whole Charlie Sheen thing was just pure luck and opportunity for him, and he jumped at the chance.

So I wake up this morning and check my various news feeds to find our local Troll Warlock has achieved a certain level of media saturation. The Daily Telegraph, The Boston Herald, ONTD, Random morning radio shows so many blogs, so so many plugs for his new book. That's right. New Book. Who would have guessed?

So how did this happen? Well, by listening to his blogcast show it's pretty clear. He and a local shop owner made the decision to contact TMZ. You know, TMZ the entertainment show/website that exists only because of paparazzi embarrassing, stalking, and harassing people, gossip, and cheap media tricks - surely they will buy into the meme as well.

What has resulted is nothing short of absolute proliferation. At the time I write this article there are approximately 100 websites that come up when doing a Google news search for ' "christian day" warlock "charlie sheen" ' and it will continue to climb.

My opinion? I play a lot of online games and frequent many online communities where trolling can be considered a fun and entertaining addition to any forum or chat room - as long as it is witty and thought provoking. I have yet to make a decision whether I view Mr. Day's trolling as entertaining or think it just makes him look like a sell-out. The first thing to do is wait and see if all this publicity backfires on him.

Shout out to Christian: I'm worried about you, dude. You're playing with fire. Or trash rather. TMZ is a trashy trash fire. And it smells. Don't let that stink rub off on you because some Salem witches already smell bad enough!

[Edit: And how does the warlock himself feel about all this sudden media attention? A reliable anonymous source promises me that this is an ACTUAL status update from Christian's Facebook, it might not be true, but it totally sounds like him: "I hope that all this publicity has enabled me to potentially fulfill one of my important New Year's resolutions ... to find a midget personal assistant like Margaret Cho has. Well, ok, I think they're called little people now, but I've asked on three radio shows for one to come to me. I'm sure this will really put 'em over the edge, but I must find one! :-D"

Salem - Still Destroying History

Tourist season is still a few months away, so nothing much is going on here, but an update is still needed in order to cover the more interesting things going on.

With Destination Salem's new Rorschach test of a logo, they hope to appeal to both the large witch tourism seeking demographic and the much smaller, but much more wealthy, yuppie/merchant history demographic. If you look closely it can be interpreted as either a witch's hat OR a sailboat looking sort of thing.

I hate the dichotomy that people insist exists between these two groups. Does it really exist? As a local tour guide and historian I can attest to the fact that the trading history of Salem can be interesting to everyone, it's just that the tourist institutions and the historians in Salem tell the stories in boring, dry, and uninteresting ways.

The other issue I have with the new logo is the new motto that goes along with it? "Still making history." ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Still making history how? By allowing a national television show to take a crap on our history? By allowing the historic Old Salem Jail to be renovated into condos and a restaurant that betrays and capitalizes on the history of the building at the same time? The Old Burying Point cemetery, one of the only respectable historic tourist destinations in the city has been falling apart for decades and we just allow it (I see people working on restoration in there no more than 1 or 2 days a year)? We allow tour companies to exist that blatantly lie, take advantage of tourists, and disgrace our history.

If by "making history" they mean allowing the past to die and creating a new history to take it's place, then yes, we are creating history every day. But the ultimate goal is to do a service to history a little less like Winston Smith at Minitrue and a little more like detached observers with a desire to simply preserve what once was.