If you're looking for spoilers I can imagine you've already read a few plot synopsis', so let's cut right to the spoilers chase. .If you've read my previous posts, please excuse me for repeating a bit of the information here and please excuse me for leaking information about the movie which was later changed. ANYWAYS...
Firstly,
you've probably read that this movie is a departure from Rob Zombie's
usual work, but you may not understand how severely different it is.
It's hard to even classify this as a horror movie, and we'll have to
wait a while before general consensus chooses exactly what genre it is.
It is very slow moving and relies more on creeping you out than
in-your-face gore. When hearing people compare this movie to other
horror directors over the past week I have heard dozens of names. I
think it's fair to say Rob was deliberately paying homage to the genre
rather than "ripping off" other styles.
When Heidi
begins to have her visions after playing the mysterious record, it was
really sad to watch her degenerate. One of the witches describes to her
the difference between destiny and fate and I think the audience is
supposed to ascertain from that that she has no chance of escaping her
fate as the chosen one to give birth to the Anti-Christ. ...That I can
understand, but watching her relapse and start smoking crack was
probably the most depressing part of the movie. (On a side-note, locals
were wondering why the film crew was shooting in the ghetto part of
Salem known as "The Point", and appropriately enough, this is where she
goes to buy said crack!) In one of the most disturbing scenes, Heidi seeks solace in a church only to fall asleep and have a
dream sequence where she is orally raped by a priest while he screams
Satanic prayers and black ooze spurts from his mouth.
A
lot of what was leaked from the plot ended up being cut from the final
product during editing. As I've mentioned previously, this included a
lot of murder scenes, like the one in Engine House Pizza, and Lobster Joe - who's character was cut completely.
It was also a
bit disappointing that one of the clips Rob chose to leak from the
movie is a huge spoiler for the only real murder scene in the entire
movie, that of author and local historian Francis Mathias (played by
Bruce Davison). He is the only one who realizes something strange is
going on but, even as he begins to unravel the mystery of the Lords,
anyone who anticipated the movie and saw the clip knows he never stands a
chance against these nudist hags.
As Heidi's
visions get uncontrollable and her friends lose control of her
completely, the audience is treated to the final parts of the movie,
which are essentially Rob Zombie's take on strange Satanic rituals
spliced with short scenes of reality where fellow radio show host Herman
'Whitey' Salvador (played by Jeffrey Daniel Phillips) tries in vain to
help even though he has no clue what is going on. The witches get less
frightening and more happy as they seem to revel in the ecstasy of the
horror around them. Heidi meets a strange midget chicken-winged goblin
thing, phantoms dressed as catholic bishops sit on thrones and fondle
large purple dildos, Heidi rides a goat, dry-humps a dude dressed like a
black metal mall rat, and finally gives birth to the Antichrist, which
looks equal parts mandrake root, insect, and starfish. The witches
praise Satan, half the audience gets confused as hell as the entire
thing collapses in on itself and turns into a White Zombie video with
melting cartoon Jesus' on crucifixes.
I assume in
the original plot, the record hypnotizes the women descended from the
people of Old Salem and each of them commits a murder while possessed,
but in the final product we just see them begin to get hypnotized and
then appear right at the end alive wearing the strange animal masks, and
then to the final shot of Heidi Hawthorne standing on a pile of their
dead bodies dressed as the Anti-Virgin-Mary as Velvet Underground's "All
Tomorrow's Parties" plays. Definitely the best shot of the movie, I bet
it took hours to get it perfect.
I have heard a few
people say things like "How can you like that movie? I couldn't even
take it seriously it was so bad!" And my response to that is that people
who dislike Lords of Salem are the ones taking it too seriously.
Usually tourist season doesn't pick up until April, but this year things started early and it was starting to begin in March. It might have something to do with some of the high profile projects involving Salem in the media recently.
There are three major things:
The first is last week's premiere of Rob Zombie's Lords of Salem at Cinema Salem.
We have been anticipating this movie since we first heard about it back in March '11, (edit: Actually, we learned about the idea when Rob started mentioning it during interviews in Fall '10)and it seems like a lot of locals got their hopes up and were expecting something a bit different. I loved the movie but general consensus in Salem is very negative, which disappoints me. I found the whole thing visually stunning, and even if there was a lack of character development and cohesive story line, the plot itself was fantastic. And hilarious. I love cheesy horror films and this one put a huge smile on my face throughout the entire thing.
The only thing that really disappointed me personally about the film was reading so much about it for the past few years only to see the final product and realize how much was cut during editing. A lot of it was important to deepening the plot, but I guess Rob figured in the end that the movie just had too many characters. Christopher Knight (aka Peter Brady)'s character, Lobster Joe, was cut entirely. Also, a lot of locals were waiting for the murder scene we had learned would happen in Engine House Pizza, but that was cut as well.
I'll write a more detailed synopsis and update soon! [edit: And here it is! Spoilers]
The second thing that's had people talking about Salem recently is "American Horror Story: Coven". When Kathy Bates was added to the cast, actor Dylan McDermott was asked how perfect she was for the cast and slipped saying "She really is. All the witches of Salem... There's plenty of them!"
The thought of Kathy Bates playing a Salem witch had us all so excited we thought we could die, but then director Ryan Murphy smashed our dreams by saying the season would be filmed in New Orleans. Don't give up hope yet, though, Murphy also stated that the show would be about "multiple cities" and they could really film anywhere. He is also on record saying he wants it to include "horror romance" and it will be set in "modern day".
The final exciting thing happening in Salem is the one that a lot of people aren't even aware of. For a while now film crews have been sneaking in and out of town to visit Christian Day, Lorelei, and all their minions and film for the upcoming TLC reality show that I'm hearing might be titled "Wicked Witches". I have a lot of insider information on the show that I'm not going to disclose because it's more fun if things are a surprise, but I can tell you that I really don't think a reality show about witches is going to embarrass witchcraft as much as people are speculating. It's just a TV show, and it's just for fun and the most important thing to remember is that, although they make money off witchcraft, these people are truly authentic witches bringing REAL witchcraft to the masses. It sounds like the stuff they're filming is hilarious and awesome. People are saying the show might come out in May, I have no idea.
Quick loose ends news round-up:
Because of cancellations at Boston Comic Con, Jason David Frank, the original green Power Ranger was at Harrison's Comics in Salem! This is the extremely long line to meet him.
Not sure if it's an official rule or not, but I noticed Cabot trained witches always put their holiday trees up November 1st!
With the holiday on a Wednesday and the threat of hurricane Sandy, this year only about 40,000 people came to the Witch City for Halloween night. Compared to previous years that's nothing, but it still means the population of the city doubled for one night. Things got insane either way and I saw so many hilarious costumes, even one guy I thought was dressed as Vermin Supreme that ended up actually being him! The previous Saturday may have been just as busy and most of the best Halloween parties happened the weekend before.
I went to The Official Salem Witches' Ball for the first time this year. People come from all over the world and spend lots of money for tickets so it's considered one of the coolest parties in all of witchdom. I'm a big fan of the DJ that works the night and his playlist had a good amount of appropriately witchy songs mixed in with the poppy dance stuff. It's kind of like a classy rave with a ritual in the middle. Lot's of strange people and strange things happening. The costume contest theme was "Witch and Famous" and the woman that won was the Wicked Witch of the West on a huge stilt-like contraption that stood towering above the rest of the crowd the entire night. My personal choice for best costume was the girl who was dressed as Laurie Cabot - her hair and glasses were perfect and I was surprised so many people didn't recognize the costume! It was adorable!
Bloody vampire of some sort on Essex st near the Peabody Essex Museum.
Now that October is over it's boring in town... but the perfect time for film crews to sweep in and shoot. One was shooting a small independent movie where a dying vampire was getting fake blood all over Essex St.
Christian Day, Lorelei, and Lori Bruno started filming for their much anticipated reality show last week. Word on the street is it's for TLC, so Honey Boo Boo is going to have some competition next year! I am so worried that these guys are just out to make all my bosses look crazy, but they are all grown adults and knew what they were getting themselves into! Once this show airs there are going to be so many haters with stupid loud opinions. ...I'm sure there will be lots to write about and tons of rumors to dismiss. The folks at TMZ will be lifting stories from my blog, no doubt!
The other big news in town is that Salem has been blessed with another beautiful witch shop. Lori Bruno surprised everyone by suddenly opening up her own shop without warning right at the end of October and leaving Hex! It is an absolutely beautiful space.... Ladies and gents, your first sneak peak at MAGIKA:
Every year I anticipate October so much that when it actually finally comes it's gone as quick as the autumn leaves falling off the trees. It seems like one day they're there, the next it's just a pile of red and gold for someone to rake, bag up, and put out on the curb.
The Salem Zombie Walk went surprisingly smoothly this year. It felt like after all this time they finally did it right. The crowd all stayed together, the officer leading us around was on a motorcycle and did a great job stopping traffic and clearing the streets for us.
The absolute highlight of the walk was as we turned up Hawthorne Boulevard and the rain started to pour right as the Catholic church bell was tolling 6pm. We all started to yell along with the bells and everyone was getting really rowdy and cheering in the rain - then we noticed the bagpiper standing outside of the church. Right then, with the absolute worst timing ever, he started to play and march and a wedding party appeared at the doors. They looked horrified and shocked as they walked through the hundreds of zombies, many of us stopping to clap and congratulate them. I felt kind of bad for them, but it was their fault for getting married in Salem in October!
Leading the zombies across Washington Square near the commons. (Picture via Haunted Happenings)
This October,Salem has been it's usual mix of witches, psychics, pervert clowns, wacko preachers, and Cenobite Teletubbies, but the one thing we all thought would be here by now and isn't? Rob Zombie's new movie,LORDS OF SALEM - the release date was moved to 2013.
In the trailer he showed during concerts, which ended up on youtube via audience camera phones, it said 2012 at the end.I don't think I can wait any longer, I am dying to see this movie. Those are some hot naked witches. When he filmed in town the crew certainly left their mark... Apparently a murder scene must have been filmed inside Engine House Pizza because there's fake blood leftover on the ceiling and they plan on leaving it there as a souvenir!
There's just a few days left to have fun in town, and with the Frankenstorm hysteriaspreading it looks like Halloween might not be so awesome, so wear your costume all weekend!
After living and working in Salem for as many Octobers as I have you start to notice the patterns and cycles of tourist behavior much like a primatologist notices the patterns of apes eating insects off each other and picking at their butts. In this entry I hope to create a handy guide for any tourist visiting this month not hoping to look stupid or have a horrible time.
A. FAQs B. What to Visit 1. Witch Museums 2. Other Tourist Museums 3. Classy Stuff 4. Etc C. Spooky Stuff D. Where to Eat E. Modern Witchcraft F. Random Tips
Salem Witch Wiles' Guide to Not Being A Stupid Tourist
A. FAQs - Most Frequently Asked Questions
1. Where is the House of Seven Gables?
2. Where is the Witch Museum?
3. Where is a bathroom?
4. Where can I get a trolley ticket?
5. Where is ____?
Answer: GET A FUCKING MAP. Seriously, they are free and all over the damn city. There are three or four different maps from a few different companies and they all compete and make all their revenue off advertising. Sit your ass down and look at the map, read the stupid guides with all the info and figure out what you're doing BEFORE you start aimlessly wandering around like a drunk guy in a Goofy hat in Disneyland. I find it highly ironic that people are so worried about "looking like a tourist" they don't look at their map and end up getting lost.
Also, the people at the information booth at the end of Essex st. (pictured above), as well as the friendly guides inside the Visitor's Center.
B. What to Visit
Whatever the hell you want! Seriously, you can't make your own decisions with the internet and all the free brochures everyone showers you with the moment you get into town? OK, fine. I will sum up for you, but keep in mind there is more:
1. Witch Museums -
The similar names of these museums are not only confusing to tourists, locals usually just choose one favorite and never even check the others out. Before we get into how these attractions are different let me sum up their similarities: They all seem to have broken animatronics that haven't worked in a long time, they all cost around the same amount and last around the same amount of time, and I have heard equally great and horrible reviews for each. Also, each one of these museums is about the hysteria of 1692, almost forgot to mention that.
There are other things to learn about in town besides 1692. Here is our list of other tourist museums. Reviews vary drastically.
Count Orlok's Nightmare Gallery - One of the few places in town I never feel uneasy recommending, even though it's not about Salem at all! It's a museum about the history of horror cinema, everything from Wolfman and The Creature from the Black Lagoon, to Freddy and Jason. It's an educational history museum for huge horror film nerds. Celebrity appearances and autograph signings all the time in October! The Pirate Museum - Walk through scenes talking about Salem's pirate history, *SPOILER (lulz)* dude jumps out at you at the end. The Wax Museum/Witch Village - The Wax Museum is one large room with scenes of Salem's history around it. If you don't read all the plaques and take your time you might think it's too short/small. The Witch Village is a guided tour half about Salem and half about witchcraft. BOTH of these attractions may or may not suddenly become dry ice filled strobe lit haunted houses during high-traffic times. The Witch House - The name of this place has always bugged me. It's a way of tricking tourists into going there. They even painted it black to make it more "witchy". See, it is the only home still standing with direct ties to the hysteria trials - it's the house of Jonathan Corwin, who joined the Court of Oyer and Terminer to replace Nathaniel Saltonstall, who resigned after the first execution. So really, he was just a replacement, not even a first choice for the court. This museum isn't about 1692 at all, but more about the home itself, architecture, furnishings, and the history of the Corwin family. It has historic validity, it should just be called The Corwin House. The rumors about some of the examinations of victims of 1692 happening here are just bogus. Salem Toy Museum - Totally random, has nothing to do with Salem history. Just for fun! This place is great, vintage toys, hilarious things on sale, and super nerdy things! It's inside the Museum Place Mall so it's in a weird spot, don't miss it! Also, while you're in the mall check out the new chip shop, 3 Potato 4, they are AMAZING.
3. Classy Stuff -
The PEM - class and style.
A few of the things that the average tourist wont have time for in October.
Salem Maritime National Historic Site - Check out the replica of The Friendship ship, museum, Custom House, etc. Peabody Essex Museum - Super classy and cultural. If it isn't October or you have some extra time, dedicate a bunch of hours or a whole day to this place. The House of Seven Gables - Historic house museum on which Nathaniel Hawthorne's book was based. Also, the author's birthplace has been moved here. Salem Willows Park - A nice little ocean-side park with arcades, cotton candy, and a carousel.
There are lots of other guided tours through historic homes and such, but most of them are pretty similar.
4. Etc. -
Things I can't quite classify.
The Witch Trials Memorial - The only place you can pay respect to all the innocent people killed in 1692. Remember, we all have so much fun in Salem because a bunch of people were tortured and killed unjustly - how's that for a guilt trip? Take a little bit of time to reflect at the memorial and pay your respects.
The Bewitched Statue - A cheese-tastic homage to tourism in Salem.A huge amount of the seventh season of the show was filmed right in Salem!
Wynott's Wands - Remember Salem has been so successful in it's conversion into a Harry Potter themed shop they have also opened up Salem's first wand shop! I really wonder if there's enough of a market for authentic wands in October though... Especially with so many actual witch shops that carry them
C. Spooky Stuff
I found this picture of an actual Salem tourist entering one of our most horrific haunted attractions!
First things first, this is not Disney World. This is not even Spooky World. Things in Salem tend to be on a much smaller budget than standard haunted attractions you'll find in other places. I am not going to rate these because there are just so many variables involved in any individual experience, but I will say that The Boston Phoenix best described it by saying one "resembles a ransacked party store" . All last about the same amount of time and cost around the same amount of money. As of today there are exactly 4 haunted attractions in Salem (not including the few that become haunted mentioned above):
The Witch Mansion - Newly renovated and exits into the mall directly in front of the entrance to: The Nightmare Factory - newly renovated as well. 13 Ghosts (The shortest) - This year they are boasting some kind of "haunted time machine", whatever that means... Frankenstien's Laboratory (The longest) - Looks like they might have fixed this one up a bit, too. I sure hope so, the place was falling apart. Whatever this thing is on Pickering Wharf - The space for a haunted attraction on Pickering Wharf has something going on, not sure what though. Don't know if they haven't yet decided or are keeping it a secret. Odds are it's another standard haunted house type thing.
D. Where to Eat -
Awesome Vegginess at Life Alive. Pic via their tumblr.
With over 60 places to eat in Salem, it's pretty much impossible for me to review everything or make any recommendations, just a few things:
--Salem has just about every different type of food you can imagine - pubs, Chinese, pizza, cafes, classy expensive places, cheap family fare, a brewery, Thai, Indian, Caribbean, Polish and everything else - don't waste your money getting nasty sausages and junk from street vendors (no offense to my street vendor friends!)
--There are ice cream shops all over town. If you can't find one just keep walking until you do.
--If you go to Dunkin Donuts I will fucking slap you. Sure, many New-Englanders have bad taste and prefer them over anything else, but there are some of us who would rather recommend one of our many many local cafes for your caffeine fix.
E. Modern Witchcraft-
These are places that witches visiting Salem will want to see. Mostly just shops, and there are lots more.
Crow Haven Corner - The oldest witch shop in the country, first opened up by Laurie Cabot. The Salem Witch Walk Ever wonder why, if everyone in 1692 was an innocent victim and not a real witch, there are so many witches in Salem today? This tour explains what real witchcraft is while discussing the hysteria from a modern witch's perspective and starts with a participatory ritual at Crow Haven Corner. And I don't just love the tour because it helps clear things up for witches and Salemites alike, I'm also the tour guide! Hex, Omen, & Festival of the Dead events - Halloween ringmaster Christian Day's October Circus Laurie Cabot's Shop - Is closed! So many people keep asking where to find it, sorry guys! Bewitched in Salem - Talk about eclectic, this witch shop has so many random things it's not even a witch shop anymore - it's an everything shop. From their website "A 4 inch ivory Jesus and a 4 foot steel Baphomet can share the same space. We do not discriminate." Site of Laurie Cabot's first shop! - What the hell is a Crotchet, much less an entire box of them? 100 Derby st is where Laurie Cabot opened the very first (and extremely short-lived) witchcraft shop in America before she gave it a second try and succeeded with Crow Haven Corner. Nowadays it's an awkward looking red house with a sign that makes no sense and many tourists assume is some kind of dirty joke they just don't get..
Line waiting to go into Laurie's Cabot's shop two years ago. It's closed forever now.
F. Random tips
1. Dress appropriately - If you are wearing an expensive costume in Salem on Halloween night don't be upset if it gets stepped on, squashed, or otherwise soiled. That's right, I said soiled. All kinds of things are possible.
2. Be prepared to wait in line - Everywhere you go. Your whole trip. It sucks, I know, but just get used to it and get over it. The picture above is of people waiting in line just to get into Laurie Cabot's shop. The crowds can get a little dense, too, so be careful not to lose your friends.
3. Don't be fooled by signs - Apparently the laws about being able to say you are the "Official", "highest rated", "most popular", or "scariest" are pretty lax, because everything in town claims to be "the best".
4. Be weary of advice on the street - Unless it is someone dressed as a park ranger from the visitor center, someone from the official city tourist info booth (picture at top of page), or you just get lucky, odds are the person offering you friendly advice on what attraction to visit is being paid to do so by said attraction. Also, if you are stupid enough to keep taking flyers, DON'T LITTER!
5. And THE MOST IMPORTANT TIP for not being a stupid tourist is don't worry about being a stupid tourist! Relax, don't schedule every little thing, and don't be upset if things don't work out how you expect them to! With so much insanity all over the city all month you are bound to get caught up in something - make sure it's not drama!
Working in a tourist town and explaining witchcraft to average people can be very challenging and one of the questions I get most often is "How can I tell if I'm a witch?" Well, that question could mean a lot of different things, but I find when a tourist asks it they just want a quick rundown of some of the ideals, philosophies, and traits of the average witch so they can see if it's something they would be into... So I'm bored today and made this list which is by no means comprehensive and certainly doesn't apply to everyone. This is just a general and generic list of traits the average witch stereotypically follows.
If you find that more than a few of these traits apply to you, then I suggest the study of witchcraft would probably be an intellectual and spiritual benefit to you:
1. Have you ever confessed to loving an animal more than a person? Do you generally love animals?
2. Do respect the environment/nature or worry about mankind's impact on it? Do you enjoy camping, hiking, hunting, etc?
3. Do you love science?
4. Do you believe that all religions have something to teach us?
5. Do you believe that men and women are equal?
6. Do you respect the elderly and those older than you?
7. Do you feel a connection to the dead?
8. Have you ever had paranormal or psychic experiences?
9. Do you have an interest in ancient history?
10. Have you ever considered yourself an "outsider" or someone who observes others? But, on the other hand, when you are in a comfortable setting with like-minded people can be outgoing?
11. Have you ever considered yourself a philosopher?
12. Are you a fan of haunted houses or roller coasters, not afraid of the dark, or generally brave when it comes to the unknown?
13. Do you enjoy learning new things even when it means you are wrong?
Witchcraft has nothing to do with what religion you are, how you dress, the music you listen to, or the people you hang out with. It has everything to do with what kind of human being you are and how you interact with your environment. If more than a few of these traits apply to you, you might be a witch.
Tom the Tour Guide
[WOW, I had no idea this would go viral so quickly! It's great to see this reposted so much all over Facebook and that so many non-witches find it interesting! Just one thing I wanted to clear up because a few arguments were starting:
Witchcraft is not a religion. It is a spiritual practice influenced by many religions. Some people prefer to call it a "way of life" or a "spiritual path", Laurie Cabot famously calls her style "Witchcraft as a Science". So, WICCA is one new religion based on witchcraft that comes from the middle of the 1900s. Every Wiccan is a witch, but not every witch is a Wiccan. Wicca is one denomination of witchcraft and the vast majority of witches prefer to draw on their own personal mix of religions that influence their own personal version of witchcraft. Thanks!]
So anyways, Salem is BUSY. Stuff is really blowing up this year. Everything is so exciting people keep saying "And it's not even October!" By then, the city will be whipped up into a frenzy. :)
In other news...
"Looking back, the lion was a bad idea. That's why Dr. Shockla is gonna hook us up with a monkey. I'm gonna teach it taekwondo."
Adam Sandler and his ragtag band of misfits (I don't know how else to refer to them) keep getting spotted all over the city this summer. The above picture isPeter Dantewith some Salem locals and their baby! He's one of those people that is in just about every single movie Sandler does, but most famous as the pot dealer inGrandma's Boy. Rumor is that they actually filmed a bit of indoor scenes in Salem by renting out some cheap office space and putting up temporary sets, but no one can find out for sure. They've been filming primarily in Marblehead and Swampscott, the next towns over. Regardless of if they have been filming in Salem, they are definitely hanging out. Adam Sandler was even spotted outside Witch Dr.!
"Lifting the spirits of all who enter..."
Witch Dr.is the name of the new artist gallery and glassblowing studio in Salem "Where the Witches Burn". Boy, I love a good pun. They're doing pretty well and I'm glad. Good artsy hippie nonsense is a great thing for Salem.
The owner of Life Alive.
Speaking of hippies, the much anticipated vegetarian restaurant,Life Alive, has been in town long enough for everyone to have an opinion and people are saying great things. I personally have eaten there four times and keep getting the same dish every time because it's so damn good. If this one selection is that good I can imagine the rest is just as good.
The girls fromParanormal Salemwere onA&E Bio's My Ghost Storythe other day. You can watch it onlinehere. In the past few weeks the History Channel, something only referred to as "the English version of the Travel Channel", National Geographic, and a few other film crews have been spotted downtown.I Partywas even just filming a scene for a commercial inCount Orlok's Nightmare Gallery(They just confirmedKANE HODDERas a celebrity guest appearance again this October, too!).
And last but not least, the Hocus Pocus movie sequel was shot down as just a rumor by Disney! I say good riddance, if they did make a sequel it would be some lame straight-to-DVD nonsense.
I always get worried when I bump into TV cameras downtown Salem because a lot of shows just aim to make the whole city look goofy or mock witchcraft ( which tends to be pretty easy around here). So when I dropped into Hex yesterday and almost tripped over camera wires and noticed a whole crew surrounding Lori Bruno I got a bit suspicious and paranoid.
I asked around and apparently this production company just got green-lit for a show on National Geographic called American Chainsaw which "showcases the artistry New England-based hard rock star Jesse 'The Machine' Green and his team of chainsaw sculptors as they create artworks for prestigious clients."
Actually sounds pretty cool. Maybe it's a bit cheesy in the description, but you can't go wrong with chainsaw sculpting. Apparently they are making something amazing for Lori Bruno and coming back later in the week to unveil it. (hint: it's a dragon!)
In other news...
The other big story about Salem this week has been so prolific that it's become quite an annoyance.
People still coming up with theories as to what caused the trials are always people new to the subject. Any person who has actually studied the trials knows that there was no one single "cause" and looking for a single "theory" is pretty uneducated. This theory is being posited in a paper written EIGHT YEARS AGO by a Harvard student as her senior thesis. The woman, Emily Oster, was previously most well known for her PhD dissertation on the subject of Hepatitis B and is a teacher of economics at The University of Chicago, so obviously this is yet another person who dabbled into the Salem Witch Trials as a pet project. As an historian and tour guide in Salem I have been approached by dozens of university students writing papers on the trials, and most of them claim that they "have always been drawn" to the Witch Trials or "always found it fascinating," but the bottom line is, you can't just take a vacation to Salem and do a few months of research and then consider yourself an expert. (Not to say Oster isn't awesome, her analysis of the HIV/AIDS epidemic in Africa is extremely important and made huge waves a few years ago.)
Too easy.
This reminds me of the much disprovenErgot Theory (Excellent article in that link by the way! A must read for anyone interested in the hysteria.), which still gets brought up by know-it-alls and stoners trying to come up with an easy answer to explain away the trials. Ergot is what LSD is a synthetically derived from, so it would be an easy way to explain things - of course, they were all just tripping!
"Today, a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. That we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream and we're the imagination of ourselves" - Bill Hicks
But trying to come up with a theory to explain the trials is absolutely ignorant considering these types of persecutionsstill happen today! Is it so impossible for us to admit that human kind is just a little messed up? Do we have to come up with theories because we are ashamed to admit the people seen as the founders of the Americas were capable of such atrocities? These things happen in undeveloped and socially backwards countries all the time, and back in 1692 Salem MA was like a third world country. Mind you, that was mostly by choice - the Puritans were not big on education, every single thing a child learned was straight from the Bible, not science or history books.
I have been studying the trials in a professional and official capacity for years and work in the tourist industry in Salem. When a tourists asks me what "caused" the trials I answer simply: The Puritans!
The Puritans were not the cute little pious people you learned about in school, they were a cult of ignorant fanatics. What happened to cause the trials was more of a "perfect storm" type scenario, where a perfect combination of actual events, psychological stressors, and social problems came together in just the right way to result in such a conflagration of circumstances.
One enlightening fact people never tend to know about the Puritans is that they were an apocalyptic cult! A Puritan minister, leader, and author who was one of the main villains during the trials is a man named Cotton Mather who posited that the end of the world would happen in 1697. That's right, the Puritans were like Y2k people. They were like that crazy libertarian Ron Paul supporting friend of yours that says fluoride in the drinking water controls our minds and the Mayans predicted the end of the world was in 2012. They're like that idiot last year who said the world was going to end and bought up all those billboards.
The point being that we tend tend to romanticize the Puritans when in fact we should look at them for who they really were -
