August 31, 2010

Vandals, Wizards, and Fake English Accents

There are some weirdos in Salem this summer.

Anyone know what's up with the guy who says he's a priest and walks around doing exorcisms and chanting incoherently on benches downtown? What about the other guy who is putting up flyers everywhere with his personal cell phone number that say "Salem Wizard"?

The past two months, while looking for a permanent place to live, I have been staying on my friend's couch and it is a ridiculous party house. I have been sleeping very little and having to deal with so much crap that the drama downtown has been tame by comparison.

Actually, there was the lady that flipped out. That was nuts... Based on a misunderstanding, this woman who has owned a shop in Salem for years now ran down in front of the museum during the Essex st Fair and started flipping over tables full of merchandise, the podium, and our signs while screaming about "NO ONE FUCKS WITH MY SON! I DON'T CARE IF I GO TO JAIL!!!" She then cornered Mollie inside the museum and was flipping out on her while Mollie was just like "I have no idea who your son is, what the hell are you talking about???" Well, apparently, business owners can do whatever they want, because what I would have been arrested for and charged with assault and destruction of property etc. this woman got in no trouble whatsoever. The police showed up and took statements and then left. When Mollie asked about it a few days later they said they couldn't arrest her because it was less than $250 worth of damage!!

So remember that, everyone: If you ever want to assault someone and trash their museum, it's cool as long as you do less than $250 worth of damage! Sweet!

Also, the guys over at the tour company that give us problems have been being so childish. All of their tour guides have been instructed to talk extra loud and try to stand near our groups and disrupt us during our 8pm. I talked to one of the guys and he apologized and said he was just doing what his boss told him. Well, just because someone tells you to do something doesn't mean you have to do it! On top of that, these guys keep going into this parking lot that we have been being told to stay off of for about three years now. When people see a tour group breaking the rules they don't think "Oh that's just one company spoiling it for everyone," they think "WTF, why wont these tour companies stop being such losers!" and it makes us ALL look bad.

And, as an actor, (nay, as a thespian! :p ) the idea that these guys dress in period clothing that anachronistically clashes with itself and use modern colloquialisms is just PAINFUL to watch. It's like the guys who dress all up in a cloak and a hat and have a walking stick and look all dressed up but you can see their white sneakers... MORONS. Either be in character or not, half-assing it is an insult to theatre in and of itself. Stupid tourist trap garbage.