Christian Day's Day of Reckoning

So many good headline ideas for this one. Here's just a few more:

Salem Witch on Trial

Warlock Accused of Cursing!

Psychic Didn't Foresee Troubles

Angry Townspeople Rally Against Witch

Facebook Flamewar Witch-Wars Lead to IRL Problems

There are endless possibilities.

Basically, a few local shop owners and psychics, who are any combination of annoyed/angered/jealous of Christian's hyper-competitive attitude and constant media attention banded together with the intention of taking him down. Whether they actually felt threatened or are doing this for business reasons is up for debate. Once again, this is a story where I know people on both sides and would rather not make judgements.

Christian, like most people, shares too much of his thoughts and feelings on Facebook and sometimes gets into fights and flamewars (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=flame%20war). Some of these alleged victims, it seems, considered the insults and arguments as threats. Christian is quoted in the paper saying, "There were arguments on Facebook," he said. "I don't believe they rose to the level of threats."

Really, there is not too much to say about this story that The Salem News didn't already NOT cover. You see, the hearing itself was closed of to the media/public so unless the people present start blabbing, we will never know the nature of the actual "threats".

Either way, the Licensing Board decided to basically put him on a probationary period of one year where if he fucks up they'll revoke his fortune telling license for six months.

I have a feeling that his enemies are going to be following him around with tape recorders and taking screencaps of everything he says online in the hopes of getting rid of him. The people that hate him really hate him, it's pretty ridiculous. Like, a lot of people in the pagan community just roll their eyes at some of the stuff Christian says and does, but there are also people who are legitimately bent on taking him down. That's just weird.

To me, the most shocking thing about this whole situation is how two police detectives, a special investigator, the licensing board, the shop owners and psychics involved, and the media are all paying so much attention to people bitching at each other on Facebook. If these were all poor people involved no one would even pay attention.

In general I make it a point to defend people with "celebrity" status when they make mistakes that average people make. When someone is famous an allegation becomes a fact in the public's eye immediately. Something about society makes people want to destroy successful people.



Christian is actually describing himself as "humbled" by this experience. Hopefully a little humility is all that's needed in order to put this serious stuff behind him and get back to his usual ridiculious antics because they are way more fun to write about and this story is just lame.

On Metaphysical Reality and the Reality of Reality TV in Salem

"Love your blog, Tom! You've got all the good gossip!"

Oops. I thought I was kind of like doing the news? I like to take advantage of my unique perspective of the goings on in Salem in order to inform others. I don't mean to gossip.



And today I have a few different things to get into.

Firstly, in a move that has got some Salem witches clutching their crystal balls the City Council decided to temporarily suspend the issuance of licenses to new psychics! The Salem News quoted the councilor-at-large as saying "This is a loophole here, and we want to be able to tighten it up." She also wouldn't say which business was taking advantage of this loophole, but I know who they are!

Here I need to quickly bring up the point and make it very clear to outsiders or those who don't know the full story, that this entire issue is pure business on all sides and has nothing to do with keeping Salem psychics authentic (lol, I know, I know...). I have to make the point that some people would consider taking advantage of a loophole an intelligent business decision. In this case it's not necessarily something I would personally do, but I am not going to judge these people for their choices.

See, the way it works, a shop has to be more than half (51% to be precise) "metaphysical" in nature in order to be allowed to get a psychic license. This is to make sure that every single shop downtown doesn't hire fly-by-night psychics for tourist season (although some still get away with it). So when one local business didn't make the 51% mark their lawyer noticed this trick: you can just start a second company that is located in the same shop. See, it's not based on how much merchandise you have, it's based on sales, so if there are two cash registers each dedicated to it's own company you can do psychic readings from your newly created company which is truly absolutely metaphysical considering metaphysics is the study of the nature of reality and it's questionable whether or not the company actually exists.

And, following that line of thought for a moment, how the holy quantum hell does the city define "metaphysical"? Does this mean if I had an art store that sold Man Ray and Picasso pieces I could have fortune tellers? The study of metaphysics is, in a way, the study of the study of things (and often times the study of the study of the study of...[etc. ad infinitum]... things)., so it's not necessarily spirituality, it is philosophical and surreal. In an existentialist's nightmare this term could technically include every single business that exists. In fact, it could specifically apply to non-existent businesses.



I think I just blew my mind.

The other big news in town is the hype surrounding the upcoming reality show The Young Witches of Salem. And when I say hype I mean it... LOT'S of local organizations are involved, The World of Witches Museum, Magick TV, The Temple of Tituba, WitchSchool.com, and even The First Chancellor and First Elder of the Corellian tradition of witchcraft located right here in Salem!

Are you excited?! Is the hype making you desperate to see the reality behind being a young witch living in Salem working in the tourist industry??? Is the finger holding down your shift button twitching with anticipation leaving a few exclamation points as ones??

Well before you get too excited check out this hilarious commercial that I file under "snarks itself".



0_o

Let me break it down for you: Witch School, the World of Witches Museum, Magick TV, ALL of the above mentioned organizations are actually creations of two dudes. And not just any two dudes, but two whom are infamous throughout the national pagan community for their get rich quick schemes. Don't get me wrong, these guys have both been super nice to me and their intentions always seem sincere, but their insistence that every single new project they have is going to revolutionize witchcraft and that they are at the forefront of the most modern technological advances in marketing is getting a little old. Everyone knows they lucked out by getting witchschool.com and the name is 90% of what sells it. It's their cash cow and they are bored with the milk and want to make gourmet cheese with it. But really, if the site was so successful it wouldn't look like something Richard Langly, Melvin Frohike and John Fitzgerald Byers created using HTML in 1994. With all the business pitches and press releases all the time, I am starting to see why some people compare them to two specific cartoon characters.

Salem is so Hip that The Fonz *and* the cast of Glee all Chill Here

Essex street has been busy, I've been doing lots of witchcraft tours and life has been interesting. Around here there are lots of strange things. For instance, when it's early in the morning and you go to your local cafe what do you see out the window? This is what I see:


Only in Salem.


Gleeks, (or as I like to call them glorons, glidiots, or gleetards) in Salem, MA are all breaking their exclamation mark buttons posting about Chris Colfer and Ashley Fink from the popular tv show Glee visiting town. Apparently they were just chilling being tourists and I'm sure ended up having to run away and hide after people started realizing it was them. For some reason celebrities always get mobbed in Salem. Remember what happened to poor Shaq when he came here? Haha... So they are in town because they have a show at The Garden or something. I don't really care.

In much cooler news, there were reports that The Fonz(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpraJYnbVtE) was in town the other day hanging out!! He, Selma Hayek and Kevin James have been filming around Boston and Quincy for a movie coming out in 2012 that sounds really boring called Here Comes the Boom(http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1648179/). There was also a Craigslist posting for extras a few weeks ago that said they were going to be needing people for the crowd in a scene where there is some sort of riot.

And one other thing I just have to mention. If you haven't seen it yet here is the horrible picture of the strange multi-breasted Baphomet type creature which is the latest behind the scenes photo released by Rob Zombie of some of the icky special effects we will be seeing in Lords of Salem. Warning: that link is not safe for work, people might look over your shoulder and think you are looking at some weeeeird stuff.

Next Big Thing for Salem: An Online Video Game about Puritans? [Update: BETA Signups Have Started!]

[Update 3/23/12: After being put off a few times BETA signups are finally open! Sign up here: http://beta.salemthegame.com/?ref=e01e659221e ]


A small game developing company named Seatribe is developing a game for Paradox Interactive which seems to be full of revolutionary ideas and has a lot of gamers buzzing.

Their new browser-based MMO Salem is to be set in a fantastical and mythical version of the harsh wilderness of colonial New England that the early settlers faced, the biggest difference being that in this case the magic and witchcraft is real and not just the product of ignorant fanatical religious fundamentalism.

The look of the game is right on the line between morbid and cutesy. The developer has stated his stylistic influences specifically include artists such as Herman Melville, H.P. Lovecraft, Tim Burton, and Edgar Allan Poe. This is most apparent in the design of the characters:



Aw, what a cute little zealot.

The one thing I am not a huge fan of, but many people are, is the fact that Salem is going to rely heavily on crafting. In other words, building, hunting, farming, cooking, pottery, blacksmithing, etc. - this is going to be the core of the game. According to developers there will be "no quests", so this gets some people worrying, does that mean that this is going to just be another one of those Farmville type games?

This is where the revolutionary part comes in. First, Salem will offer fully terraformable persistent and changing environments, which means when you change something it stays that way - forever. Secondly, the death system is full PVP (player vs player) and features perma-death - so once you die, you are dead forever. A good chunk of the hard work and wealth you've accumulated is gone for good, too, excepting a small amount passed on to your "heir" which is how you can continue to progress.

As to how they are going to balance out these two aspects of the game, which seem extreme and in opposition to each other is beyond me. No successful game to date has been crafting dependent and had open PVP with perma-death, it just seems too easy to exploit.

As this is an MMO time progresses at a normal pace whether you are playing or not, but day and night are being handled in a unique way that gives homage to the Puritan's actual historic beliefs. You see, the Puritans literally believed that darkness was evil. That which they could not understand or comprehend was therefore evil by default. Much in the same way, the virtual Puritans in Salem will be surrounded in darkness at the beginning of the game, but as they progress and gain more Civilization Points they will begin to be able to see and understand the forests, and the world around them.

So, where does witchcraft work it's way into the game? This is The Witch City of course.

Details seem sketchy so far, but it seems players will be able to choose one of two magical paths, one of which being witchcraft. I am assuming that the use of light or dark magic is what will divide the population into two opposing factions, because I couldn't imagine Puritans and witches working together towards a common goal, even if in just a video game.

Also, by the looks of the pictures the Puritans might be the evil ones. Just look at this little bastard:



Release date is set for Q4, which in non-video game person language means the fourth quarter of this year. Oh yes, and one last important thing. IT'S FREE. [Update 3/23/12: After being put off a few times BETA signups are finally open! Sign up here: http://beta.salemthegame.com/?ref=e01e659221e ]

Clues in Leaked "Lords of Salem" Photos with a Better Synopsis, and a Bit on Celebrity Witches in Salem

 [11/21/11: Most recent article here.]

Rob Zombie's Lords of Salem is taking shape as he slowly leaks more and more information. In the past month we have learned via his film blog (http://rzfilms.blogspot.com) that shooting for the movie is now going to be "after the summer" instead of throughout this spring as was earlier reported. He has also posted some pictures taken by Wayne Toth in his fx studio. If you look reeeally close you can see they might give away a bit more than it first seems. This picture in particular is very interesting to me.



First, in the background you can see a chair covered in spikes that we can deduce is probably one of the torture devices used in the film, also you can see a second spiked iron mask on the counter which could be either a stage in the fx development of the one we've already seen or maybe a second one, which might imply that the masks are a theme we will see throughout the movie. BUT most strange about this picture is the back of the neck on the piece we see the artist working on... Are those some sort of tentacles?? What the holy hell is going on here?





Calamari anyone?

Let us assume that this is a beginning process in creating locks of hair or something until we know for sure what it is.

Also, I am curious to know what is hanging on the walls in the background of this one.


Something significant or just the usual random body parts you'd find in Mr. Toth's studio?

Well luckily Mr. Zombie has released a fleshed-out synopsis and, although it doesn't say anything about Davey Jones emerging from his locker to make an appearance, it does show us how cheesy the plot is going to be:


" Heidi, a blonde rock chick, DJs at a local radio station, and together with the two Hermans (Whitey and Munster) forms part of the "Big H Radio Team".

A mysterious wooden box containing a vinyl record arrives for Heidi, "a gift from the Lords". She assumes it's a rock band on a mission to spread their word. As Heidi and Whitey play the Lords' record, it starts to play backwards, and Heidi experiences a flashback to a past trauma.

Later Whitey plays the Lords' record, dubbing them the Lords of Salem, and to his surprise, the record plays normally and is a massive hit with listeners.

The arrival of another wooden box from the Lords presents the Big H Team with free tickets, posters and records to host a gig in Salem. Soon Heidi and her cohorts find that the gig is far from the rock spectacle they're expecting: the original Lords of Salem are returning, and they're out for BLOOD. " (from IMGlobal)

Sounds pretty typical. I have a feeling that this film is going to rely less on the story and more on disturbing and gory special effects and imagery, which is not a bad thing when you think about it. I mean, without seeing House of 1000 Corpses the synopsis sounds like garbage, and that turned out fantastic.

In more personal news, I thought not working for Spellbound Tours anymore would be very depressing, but really the only thing I miss about the company is the owner, my old boss Mollie, who had become a friend of mine throughout the years, but in reality switching to a new company is working out great for me.

The tour I am doing now, The Salem Witch Walk, is fantastic. I get to help tourists understand what real witchcraft is, and it's not one of those crappy fifteen minute tours through a renovated haunted house like some other sites in town, but an entire 90 minute walk around downtown. I basically have time to get into just about everything Salem/witch related, from the simple stuff like pagan holidays and associations to the hysteria of 1692, to quantum theory's relation to spellworking, commercialization and capitalization of witchcraft in Salem, and the complicated debate about the roll of cursing and hexing within the confines of the balance found in nature and in the context of the craft.

Haha, well the way I explain it makes it sound complicated but it's not.

Some people have voiced concern over my taking a position working for/with such fiery local celebrity witches as Christian Day and Lorelei after always being outspoken about my feelings towards "selling out" and such. I find that the people who say this type of thing are most often the people who actually know the LEAST about witchcraft, tourism, and what it even means to sell out.

With all the hype many people forget that these wily witches are just normal people, including such hugely famous people like Laurie Cabot (who clearly needs a website revamp). Of course working in a tourist town where your religion is a commodity is walking a fine line, but with all the cute and cheesy stuff that they do, for every time they do something that makes some pagans cringe, they also open up hearts and minds to the craft every single day. Like, LOTS of people. Every. Single. Day.

They also value our differences and encourage me to express myself and make the tour my own because they care about the business being successful and know I am great at what I do. They trust that I wont make them look bad even if we do differ in opinions on certain subjects because it's pretty clear I go out of my way to be politically correct - and on the tours it's the same. I give people an objective view devoid of personal opinion peppered with my usual satirical humanism and anti-nihilist quips. If someone has a problem with something, I offer the other side of the argument. People really appreciate when I play devil's advocate on the tours, because it makes it clear that I am not trying to make them think what I think, but help them understand for themselves.

A Salem Witch's Guide to Local Vegetarian and Vegan Food

A divergence from my usual choice of topics, today I will be indulging in the percentage of me that is a huge hippie and reviewing vegan and vegetarian food in Salem. Next entry will be back to the usual stuff! [Updated 2/23/11, 10/2/12]

First things first, Salem is not only a tourist town and a college town, but also a town with a lot of freaky green crunchy granola people, so just about every establishment that serves food has options available for those going cruelty-free. It used to be that if you wanted 100% vegetarian food you had to somehow get all the way to The Organic Garden in Beverly, which is the next town over, but for a tourist this is usually not the easiest option. Luckily now we have Life Alive, which is now Salem's only vegetarian restaurant.

So what are the best places to get cruelty-free food in Salem Witch City?

1. Passage to India - If I had the money I would eat here every day. The menu is just good old standard Indian food, and if you are the average cultured vegetarian you could probably already order without looking at the menu. For anyone who has never been to an Indian food restaurant - the menu will confuse the hell out of you, don't be afraid to ask questions. The people here are super friendly as well.

2. Bankok Paradise and, (the aptly named) The Thai Place - These two places are competitors and a lot of locals choose one over the other. Either way - you have to specifically mention NO FISH SAUCE when you order a tofu curry because the waitstaff often get confused about what is an animal product and what isn't. Really, both places have the standard Thai style dishes, the only true difference is that Bankok Paradise also has music, and ow that they are under new ownership it often gets WAY to rowdy. Stay away from here late at night unless you're a very patient person.

3. Gulu-Gulu/Front St. Coffeehouse - My two favorite cafes in town are a tie, but I will mention what makes each place unique: Front St. is the only place with a juice bar and has the best prices for coffee and espresso drinks. Gulu-Gulu is special because they have the best selection of beer in the city(Front St. has none), and not just any beer, but heady beer. Beer that will satisfy the beer snob in all of us, but if you want Bud Light, you might want to skip this place. The Gulu, as the locals refer to it, is also the only cafe that consistently has live entertainment and music, film nights, and the infamous open mic night, which is the best/worst open mic night in the city.

Milk and Honey is the new green grocer in town, and besides the fact that it's named after two animal byproducts, it's the only place in Salem with a wide variety of vegetarian and vegan groceries. It's a tiny place and the prices are pretty high, but in the long run you might save money on getting your food here.

In closing I have to note that I consistently hit up just about every food place in Salem and I like them all. Some restaurants are better than others for vegan and vegetarian food, but just about every place will at least have veggie burgers. If you are the only veg*n in your group visiting town, don't be afraid to let your omnivore friends choose where you go for nomnoms. Even Boston Hotdog Co. has veggie dogs.

Oh, and for vegan ice cream the only place is still Cafe Kushco. Right in the center of town and very easy to find.

New Uniform Resource Locater!

That's right, the URL will soon be simply www.salemwitchwiles.com !

They said it could take up to two days, until then some of the links and the archive page will be screwy. You can handle that though.